are you undostooding?

I was working in the pharmacy the other day. There were these two Chinese women who were smiling at me. I was busy counting pills, so I did not notice, but a co-worker of mine did and mentioned them to me. I looked up and saw that they were motioning for me. I came over and saw that they were holding a thermometer in their hands.

They asked me if I spoke Chinese. I said, "Not Mandarin."

Woman #1 asked, "Do you speak Cantonese?"

I answered, "Yes, a little."

(The following dialogues were all originally spoken in Canto, but have been translated into English for this entry.)

She started to ask her question for me in Cantonese. I assumed it was about the thermometer, so I listened closely. I could make out that she asked, "Can this be used for ... baby?" (... means parts that I wasn't too clear on.) I figured that she was asking if it was acceptable for use in babies, so I asked my co-worker because I wasn't too sure. My co-worker asked me how old the baby was.

I went over and asked, "How old?" They looked at me confused, so I repeated my question and got woman #2 to say "Two months." To confirm it, I said, "Two months?" They nodded their heads. I went back and told my co-worker that the baby was two months old. She looked at the thermometer and said that she guessed it was okay for use in babies, but that there might be a more suitable one outside. She went out to look for it.

I turned to them and said, "She will help you guys." They said, "Oh, okay."

My co-worker returned and said it was the best one for use in babies. So I said, "Yes, can use."

Woman #1 asked me where they should look to see the results. I pointed to the place and said, "Here."

The women then said something to me and I thought I heard "anal region," so I asked my co-worker if the thermometer was okay for anal use. She demonstrated that it could be used under the baby's armpit. The women looked at her funny and I said, "You can use here or there." I pointed to my armpit and then down south. The women looked horrified and shook their heads, saying, "No, can't use!"

I asked, "Really? Why not?"

They just shook their heads and said, "Can't use."

I apologized, "I'm sorry. I can only speak (Cantonese) a little bit," and returned to my work. I was confused because I didn't understand why they couldn't use it. Woman #2 had said something about a temperature (well, she said something about being "hot"). However, at least I had tried.

These women returned several minutes later. I was puzzled. I approached the counter and saw... a pregnancy test box!

It was only then that I realized that they had not been looking for a thermometer at all, but for a pregnancy test all along! I gasped and said, "So it turns out you were looking for this!"

They nodded and smiled. I asked, "You want a baby, right?"

They nodded. I said, "Yes, this is right. You can use it."

Woman #1 asked me where to look to see the results and said something like "Is there a red line?"

I shook my head, "No. 'Not pregnant' means no and 'pregnant' means yes."

They then asked how much it was and I told them the price. Everything made sense to me then. Woman #2 had suspected that she was "two months" pregnant and woman #1 had asked where to read the pregnancy results on the thermometer (I knew I heard "red" the first time!).

The women complimented me on my Cantonese and said I was "very smart." I thanked them and the two of them went home happy with the pregnancy test. It's a good thing that they didn't buy the thermometer otherwise the "pregnancy result" that they were to look for would be digits showing the temperature of the urine! However, I don't blame them for mistaking a thermometer for a pregnancy test. Both "sticks" look mildly similar and it's deceiving when the thermometer has a picture of a baby on it!

I turned to my co-worker and we started cracking up. "They wanted a pregnancy test all along, not a baby thermometer!"

It was such an embarrassing misunderstanding and moment, but hilarious in retrospect. I still have a long way to go before I can carry better and more complex conversations in Cantonese, but I am happy with my progress. This time, at least, it made for a funny moment to share with you guys!

A not so funny "misunderstanding"

Speaking of "misunderstandings," I have a big one to pick with certain individuals who've been visiting my site. "Misunderstanding" is an understatement - failure to comprehend is a better wording. In this month of June, my site has doubled in hits once again and I'm absolutely thrilled at this fact. I'm overjoyed with the site's popularity and how well received it is. I even went overboard on my bandwidth limit of 30 gigabytes this month! Now, I would be happy if those bytes were all used at my site, but sadly, some were not.

Leeching is a big problem for site owners, especially those of us who pay for our server and domain. This month, I've dealt with two big leeching issues. The first was Stephy Tang's Let It Flow from the Lady In Red downloads that I provide at the blog and the second was David Tao's song from The Biter Bitten site. Stephy's song was downloaded and streamed at other sites a ridiculous 2,310 times and David's song over 1,271 times.

At first, I thought there was a lot of Stephy fans visiting or something, but when the numbers kept growing, I just knew something was wrong, so I checked where the file was being accessed. As suspected, the song wasn't being accessed at my site most of the time. Some person streamed it for background music for her Xanga while a music downloading site from China hotlinked the download onto their site. I was so pissed and put an end to it by password protecting all the Lady In Red song downloads. The Stephy problem was thus solved.

Yesterday, I started to get suspicious of the number of people downloading David's Love Can. When I posted it two months ago, over 1,000 downloads wasn't shocking because it was new and a lot of people wanted it. But 2 months later and even more downloads than ever?! Something was up... and indeed, leeching was again in the picture. This time, I was absolutely horrified to find that it was being hotlinked at forums, Xangas, and MySpace's! I put an end to it today by again password protecting all the videos and songs that I have at my Biter Bitten site.

It's because of these leeching incidences that I now have to pay a little more money to pay for the over usage of bandwidth this month. This is an example of when a "misunderstanding" (or rather, a failure to read and follow what's written - I clearly stated that I did not want anyone to directly link any downloads from my sites onto another site/forum) is not funny. I'm just really bitter and a bit angry right now because I have to pay extra for bandwidth not used at my site. Anyways, enough venting from me! I just had to get that off my chest.

Leeches - this is the final warning. I'm onto you guys and I will not pay for your personal usage anymore. You are more than welcome to visit and enjoy all that I have to offer, but I will not have any leeching!

Thank you!