chapter 164: love and hate

[Shanghai - Suen Family Mansion]

Rose (Kenix Kwok) managed to sneak back into Shanghai with the help of her people. "Daddy?" she calls as she enters through the main doors.

"Miss Suen?" a maid rushes to the door.

"Where's my daddy?"

"Oh, Mr. Suen (Michael Miu) went off on vacation."

"I see." Rose hands the maid her coat. She looks around at the mansion. She hadn't step foot inside it since she left to try and bring back Ah Nin (Frankie Lam) to Shanghai five months before. "This is strange. Why would daddy go on a vacation when the date of my wedding is so soon?" she asks herself. The thought of her now-canceled wedding reignited her burning hatred and bitterness.

She runs up the spiral stairway and enters her room.

[Rose's Bedroom]

The picture frame that held the very first picture that she and Ah Nin took together still stood on the night table beside her bed. She sits down on the king-sized mattress with its silk sheets and looks at the picture. She runs her hand across Ah Nin, remembering what the day was like when they took the picture.

[Flashback]

It was shortly after Ah Nin had finished physical rehabilitation and was functioning close to normal. They decided that a picnic would do Ah Nin's health some good. It was supposed to be a gorgeous, sunny day, but the weather played a trick on them. It started raining in the middle of it.

Rose was very upset because they were just going to take their very first pictures together as a couple. "This day was supposed to be perfect!" she pouts.

"It's just a little rain!" Ah Nin smiles.

"We're all wet! The pictures are going to look awful."

"It doesn't matter. Our inner beauty will shine through." He approaches a random stranger who was running by under an umbrella. "Sir, would you mind taking a picture for us?"

"Are you crazy? It's raining! Get out of here." He runs off.

Ah Nin frowns. "Some people are so rude."

Rose smiles at Ah Nin. His optimism touched her. She nods her head. "You're right." She rests her head on the nook of Ah Nin's neck and shoulder and with one hand on the camera each, they took their first "couple shot". "I love you, Chris."

"How can I not love the woman who stood by me in my worst... when I was going to the bathroom in a bag?" He laughs and then grins widely at her.

The two kiss passionately. The rain continued to pour down hard. They were soaked from head to toe, but Ah Nin and Rose didn't care.

[End of Flashback]

Suddenly, Rose picks up the picture frame and then throws it down on the ground, smashing it. She then continues and breaks every one of the picture frames that she had with Ah Nin. "Everything is broken now. No need for these anymore!" she screams.

After she was done, Rose looks down at the mess that she made. Although the pictures were now behind shattered glass, she could still see them clearly. It made her furious. She reaches for the pictures, cutting herself on some fragments of glass in the process, and tears them up. "It's over between us!"

She stops and takes a look at the torn pieces of incoherent pictures in her hands. She laughs. "It was doomed from the start, wasn't it?"

[Flashback #1]

Rose walked into "F&B" company after coming back from her cruise around the world. "I'm so over falling in love. This is the last time I let another man into my heart. I learned from Bobby (Sunny Chan) not to trust anyone but myself... There's no such thing as love in this world. Damn it!" She mumbles under her breath. She looks up and sees the back of a tall and nicely-built man walk into an office. Her curiosity erupts. She wanted to know who "he" was.

She makes her way to Carrie (Natalie Tong). Carrie gives Rose a big smile and greets her as she pushes up her glasses. "Rose! How was your trip?"

"Just exquisite!" Rose gushes. "I have some souvenirs for you. I'll bring them tomorrow. How has work been without me?"

"Crazy! I don't know why it's so busy these days."

Rose folds her arms. "Now, Carrie, are you trying to curse our business? It's good to be busy! Although I'm hurt that it was busy without me around with my fabulous designs."

Carrie blushes. "Oh no! I didn't mean it like that."

Feigning a cough, Rose asks, "So... any changes around here lately?"

"Why, yes! For starters, I got new glasses!" Carrie points to her glasses proudly. "We got some new plants for the office. Don't you reckon it looks livelier? We also gave the break-room a make-over! It's splendid. You really have to see it. Oh and-"

Rose fakes a laugh. "My, so much happened without me!" In her mind she thinks, "You idiot! Do you think I care about these irrelevant things?"

Carrie smiles, "Yep."

Abruptly, Ah Nin pops out of his office and tells Carrie, "Carrie, I'm going to need these papers copied. Thanks!"

Rose's eyes light up seeing Ah Nin's face. Her heart paces. The saliva built up in her mouth. It was love at first sight. He notices her and gives a small smile before retreating back into his office. Rose gulps. She lowers her head down to Carrie and whispers, "Is this another change you forgot to tell me about?"

Carrie laughs. "Silly me! Your father hired him while you were gone. He's been here all those months you were on a cruise... He blends right in with us. He's so hard-working, smart, and oh-so-good-looking!" She sighs. "He is really a great guy."

"What's his name?"

"Oh! Haha. It's Chris."

"Chris..." Rose smiles. "Chris and Rose... I like the sound of that," she thinks in her head.

"You're going to love him once you get to know him. You don't think someone so pretty can be so nice," Carrie gushes.

"I think I already have."

"What?"

Rose coughs. "I said, 'Aren't I pretty and nice'?"

"Oh, why! Of course you are, Rose. I meant with guys. You know, the handsome ones always turn out to be jerks."

Rose nods her head, "Very true." She pauses before asking, "So, does he have a girlfriend? Surely such a good guy must be taken... unless he's gay. Like they say, all the good ones are taken or gay."

Carrie laughs. "Oh no. He's totally single."

"Oh? That's surprising."

"Yes... but he's a bit cold. He's so cool! I like that mysterious element."

"Is he?"

"Girls line up outside of his office, but he won't even give them a second glance."

"Really?"

"Yes, even the models we have who appear to take pictures... they all have been keen on him, but he doesn't even look at them."

"Carrie, then he must be gay."

"I really doubt that."

"He can't possibly be asexual or celibate. It's impossible for men."

"I don't know... he's just very cold when it comes to relationships. He's a great colleague though. I really wonder why. Maybe he got his heart broken or has an unrequited love."

"Well, I will find out." Rose smiles. She had set her target on Ah Nin and was determined to get him.

[Ah Nin's Office]

Rose knocks on the door before letting herself in. Ah Nin looks up from his computer.

"Hi, I'm Rose, Mr. Suen's daughter." She extends her hand out for Ah Nin to shake.

"Oh! Miss Suen. How very rude of me just now not to introduce myself. I'm Chris."

"It's okay! It's okay. You didn't know. You can't fault people for not knowing."

"Ah, but ignorance is far from an excuse to commit a crime."

Rose smiles. She liked his wit.

"I can't believe Mr. Suen hid such a pretty daughter away from me for all of those months."

Rose blushes.

"So are you the type of 'Princess' who doesn't like to do any work? You just socialize and look pretty?"

"Do I look like that type?"

"I don't know... I just met you," he glances at his watch, "Thirty seconds ago."

"Let me make it clear that I'm not. Yes, I may be Miss Suen, but I want to be treated like a normal person. I don't want to be seen as a 'Princess'."

What Rose said reminded Ah Nin of Joey (Bernice Liu). Joey had pretended to have no relationship to Wong Sheung (Lau Dan) when she started work at "Ka Yan" when in fact she was his daughter. She didn't want her colleagues to be biased towards her and suck up to her. She wanted to work and show her own capabilities rather than have everyone think she relied on her daddy to get where she was. "Silly girl." Ah Nin shakes his head and smiles. He really missed Joey.

Rose overhears his "Silly girl" comment and blushes, mistaking it to be about her. "I'm actually a fashion designer."

Ah Nin blinks. "What was that? I'm sorry."

"I was just saying how I'm a fashion designer. I'll be working with you."

"Oh? But I already have a fashion designer."

"Are you turning down the boss's daughter?" Rose intended the double-meaning.

"No! I wouldn't dare." Ah Nin laughs. "Okay, we'll see what you've got. Let me just tell you this. I'm very demanding. Let's see if you can keep up with me."

"Oh, I bet I can." Rose winks. "Damn it. I'm falling for him already," she moans to herself, "So much for not letting love back in."

[Flashback #2]

It was a few months after their initial meeting. Ah Nin and Rose had spent more and more time together and worked seamlessly with each other. Rose's fondness for Ah Nin grew, but to her dismay, her flirtations and advances were met with cold, uncomfortable responses. She couldn't understand it. "I'm so attractive... why isn't my beauty doing anything for him?"

They were driving back from a dinner celebration that night.

"Congratulations again, Chris." Rose smiles.

"You deserve some credit too. Your designs are really innovative."

"My designs coupled with your skills... we're unbeatable."

He grins.

"Imagine what the product would be if our genes were combined."

It was a red light. Ah Nin breaks abruptly and looks at Rose.

"Chris, what's wrong?"

"Rose, I think we have to clear something up."

"Huh?" She looked at him with curiosity.

"I know you like me."

Rose blushes. "Chris! You should know better than to confront a girl about her feelings... especially when you're alone with her in a car. I'm shy!"

"We can never be," he answers simply. The light turned green. He pushes on the gas pedal.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I'm sorry, Rose. We're great as friends, so let's not ruin that."

"But why? Surely you've sensed our chemistry! We're so good together. Everyone says it."

"Good as friends. Please, Rose. Just stop."

"Are you gay?" Rose blurts out.

Ah Nin pulls the car to the side of the road and puts on the emergency blinkers. He looks at Rose and answers simply, "No."

"But if you're not, how come you're not the least bit attracted to me... or any girl from what I've seen? It doesn't make any sense. You don't have a girlfriend and you're not married. I don't get it."

"If you don't believe me, then fine, but don't slander my character."

"Chris, I think you owe me an explanation. This is the first time anyone has turned me down." Rose starts to cry.

Ah Nin hands her a tissue. "The truth is..." Ah Nin sighs.

"What is it?"

"I've lost that 'feeling'."

"What feeling?"

"You know, the one when you know you're in love... or at least you feel strongly about someone else."

"So are you asexual?"

He shakes his head. "No. There's only one girl who gives me that feeling."

"She must be really special."

"Oh, she is. You don't know how many times she slapped, misunderstood, and yelled at me."

Rose laughs. "And yet you love her so deeply?"

"She is such a sweet girl, really."

"Who is she?"

"Her name is Joey. She's the daughter of my ex-boss at 'Ka Yan'."

"Oh, well aren't you something? Going after the boss's daughter!"

"I didn't know. None of us knew. She hid her identity. She's really silly, that Joey."

"I don't get it. If you love her so much, why aren't you two together?"

"She doesn't remember me. She lost her memories in a car accident we got into the moment after we got together."

Rose covers her mouth. "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry to hear that."

"Like that, everything we went through was wiped clean. She could only remember how much she hated me. I was devastated. Even more, one of my best friends manipulated her into believing that he was her true love. He used the memories I told him about us... I had to leave Hong Kong. I had to leave it all behind. I wanted a fresh start in Shanghai. I didn't know that feelings are so hard to erase. I can't forget Joey. It will take a car accident coupled with amnesia to do the trick." He laughs. "My heart can only hold her in it, no one else."

Rose sobs. "I'm so sorry Chris."

"Now do you understand? You're a great girl but I'm just unlucky in love."

"Completely."

"All right. Let's get you home."

Rose looked at Ah Nin as he drove. An idea formulated in her head. She gives a conniving smile.

[End of Flashbacks]

"I thought I could make you love me. I thought that we could be so happy together. I thought..." she laughs hysterically. "Oh, I thought so many things..."

Rose throws the pieces of photographs into the air. They fall down to the ground like pieces of confetti. "Kam Nin, there's no more love between us. I won't protect you anymore. I won't let Joey have you either. You'll have to bring our secret to the grave too." She laughs. "This is the price you have to pay for treating me like this. You could have been blessed, but no..."