guidelines: mr. hong kong

10. Forget your manly dignity. Yes, you're entering a contest that measures "masculine beauty," but it is still a beauty pageant! Prepare to become objectified like pieces of meat - just like you do with women on a daily basis.

09. Don't worry about your facial appearance that much. The focus of Mr. Hong Kong is mainly below the head (and we're not talking about your "buddy"). How your face look is only a minimal factor. Your face only matters if you actually win and become a TVB actor. Of course, this isn't to say that you can look like a male version of "Li Siu Ho" and expect to win.

08. Become a gym rat. Your masculinity will be based on how big and defined your muscles are, so stop studying, quit school, and live at the gym. If you're not big and muscular, you won't become Mr. Hong Kong because you are clearly not "masculine" enough.

07. Hit the tanning booths. Being tanned is equivalent to being manly, so get as dark as you can to get more masculinity points! But, don't over-do it. If your tan is too over-the-top, you'll lose out in appearance and you'll put yourself at a greater risk of cancer with all the radiation.

06. Create a unique English name (especially if you're not born with one). Don't be another "Ron," "Raymond," or "Kevin." If you do make it and ultimately become a TVB actor, how would you know if Miss Lok is calling you or her "pretty boys?" Be different! Have a name no one's ever heard of before. Let it define you and you'll become a more memorable contestant.

05. Train your body until it's so big that your head is like a pea in comparison. All the previous contestants had disproportionate bodies, so don't be an odd ball and train correctly and have a proportionate body!

04. Depend on your sense of sexuality. Mr. Hong Kong is not a scholarship promoting or a pro-intelligence pageant. It is women's way of getting back at men for objectifying them for so many years. So, act like the no-brain, sex-driven guy that they want to see. However, don't squirm at the thought that there might be non-women judges in the audience.

03. Attend a male stripper show. Yes, the idea is sickening and we hope you don't do it voluntarily, but you must attend to benefit your performance during the pageant. Watch how the stripper works and follow what he does. See what excites the crowd and do it. If you can match his performance, then you have a good chance at "charming" the judges with your skills.

02. Stuff whatever needs "stuffing" to create a bigger advantage. If the girls can stuff up north, then you can stuff down south. You're going to spend over an hour parading around in Speedos with everyone's eyes on you (and you know the focus will be "down there" as well), so you mustn't "disappoint." Besides, if the attractive TVB actress judges get you too excited, you'll have some "protection."

01. Stock up on steroids. If you're like most Hong Kong guys, you're as skinny as the girls. Do not expect to have results within months. It takes years, but steroids will help cut down those years for you. Sure, you're putting yourself at health risks both physically and mentally, but if you can get buff and possibly win the Mr. Hong Kong title, then why not? Mr. Hong Kong is all about going shirtless and flexing those muscles, so you better have them - naturally or not.

guidelines: actress

16. Be sharp and witty with words. You'll need it to outsmart the press hounds and to win verbal catfights with your fellow colleagues.

15. Remember - the TVB actress circle is a big competition. Always have your claws out and be on the lookout for backstabbing. It's like War and Beauty only there's no distasteful old emperor as the goal - only a cheap trophy at the anniversary.

14. You can obtain a nickname of "Princess" like Bernice Liu but never act like one. Take what you're given and don't complain. Spoiled and picky girls will get the boot. Just ask Mandy Cho. Speaking of which, you haven't seen her, have you?

13. Must be able to act cute. We'll worry about the emotional and comedic scenes later. If you can be cute, then that's good enough. Even if you're over thirty and no longer young, you must still act cute to stay in the business (just like Charmaine Sheh).

12. Never deny the sexy route. If it gives you media attention, then do it. That's how Vivien Yeo got some press. If she relied on her "acting," "singing," and "Cantonese," she'd have gotten no attention. But, once she revealed those nice legs and boobies, the reporters were all over her. However, you mustn't take it too far. If you do, TVB will freeze you and you will have stalkers.

11. Don't worry if you can't shed real tears... not everyone is a crybaby like Myolie Wu. TVB has plenty of eye droppers that you can use, but just make sure you still look "sincere" with the fake tears.

10. Preferably you should come from some sort of pageant. Beauty is subjective, but if you have a "Miss" title (win or lose) attached to your name, you will have a better fight against critics who claim you're not "pretty."

09. Slim, slim, slim until you're as skinny as a twig. Forget your curves because in Hong Kong, the ideal woman has the body of a skeleton. Besides, you could get sponsored to slim. It doesn't get any better - you're getting paid and you get to look like an ideal skeleton like fa dan Kenix Kwok!

08. Must appear sweet, charming, and pretty at all times.

07. Spend lots of money on make-up, products, and clothes to look good. Do not be thrift like Linda Chung because outer appearance is an utmost. If you're not attractive, then you won't get any big roles because no one will want to watch you.

06. Create rumors for yourself. This is the only way to set you apart from the millions of other actresses. If you have no rumors, you will have no news, no buzz. No one will care about you and you'll easily be forgotten in the sea of actresses.

05. Be friendly with fans. If possible, post messages to them on your fan sites so they will support and love you even more.

04. Never date or have a boyfriend. If you do (you're risking your career - look at Sonija Kwok), hide it extremely well. The male fans will be driven away and the female fans will lose hope that you will date with their favorite pairing.

03. Never talk about intimate relationships in your real life. You have no life besides series. What goes on on-screen is as "intimate" as you are to get.

02. Never say or mention anything dealing with "sex." That word is dirty.

01. Should be virginal, if not - fake it. No one likes a slut. Take Kate Tsui and Queenie Chu as examples. TVB upholds chastity for their actresses.

guidelines: actor (bonuses)

01. Must be tanned - and we're not talking about the natural one. If you don't hit the tanning booth for some artificial tanning like Louis Koo and all of the other guys did, don't expect to get any big roles. No tan is equivalent to not being manly. Leave the milky white skin to the ladies.

02. Must be tall. With the actresses getting taller every day, you better be taller than them, especially since they will all be wearing high heels. Did you ever see a short leading man? Don't expect to get anywhere unless you pass the height test. The ride to being an actor does have a minimum height requirement. If you don't meet it, don't bother standing in line.

03. Must be in shape. TVB will not pair a gorgeous beauty with a pig, so cut off the beer and hit the gym. Besides, you must be able to do some stunts if required. You can't pass out after filming one take of a running scene - especially since scenes are filmed over and over again until they're perfect.

04. Maintain TVB's set image for you. The way people see you is very important. Once you're under TVB management, say goodbye to your "real life." You belong to TVB, so you will portray the image they decide to market you as at all times.

05. Join Mr. Hong Kong. If the girls can do it, you can too (dependent on the fact that you place)! It's the quickest way to gain exposure, support, and to get into the TVB screen. Since the male pageant is novel and there's a shortage of actors at TVB, you will also be less likely to receive criticism, so it's win-win. You can be a Mr. Hong Kong and a TVB actor!

guidelines: actor

10. Have an XY sex chromosome. If you're male, you already have a much higher chance of being an actor and getting promoted at TVB. There's no competition or catfights. Do you ever hear about battles over the "Best Actor" or "Most Improved Actor" awards at the anniversary? Nope. Once you're in and at the top, you'll get an award when it's your turn.

09. Don't mind acting as a gang member, pimp, pervert, jerk, cheater, or other "bad" or "extra" roles. As long as you stay in the game, you'll get promoted some day... just look at Kenneth Ma. However, if you're over 35 and still getting these type of roles, you're out of luck.

08. Be handsome. Acting is second priority. If you don't look good, there's no way you're going to get to act in meaty roles.

07. Have modeling skills. The TVB salary is low, so unless you get jobs modeling at functions or for advertisements, expect to borrow money from your parents even when you're a hot shot star.

06. Must not resist make-up. Forget the whole macho thing - appearance is utmost.

05. Be funny. Everyone loves a funny man.

04. Must have charisma. If you're boring or don't know how to present yourself, forget about getting any press or focus.

03. Act cool like Ron Ng. The girls will go crazy and the guys will copy you, so even if you don't have any other talents, you'll still be popular.

02. Always remember - Miss Lok is the main target. If she likes you, you're in! Look at where Ron Ng, Raymond Lam, and Kevin Cheng are now. If they weren't so loved by Miss Lok, do you think they'd be getting so many leading roles and series? Yes, it's true, Miss Lok will do anything for her "pretty boys," so it's best that you try to be one of them for her!

01. Let Miss Lok touch you and give you "gifts" without a word of complaint or tattle. What goes on between you and her is private. She is the gateway to heaven.