Fan Fiction |
by MetalAZNWarrior
Ying Gei (Yvonne Lam) comes home that day with a big smile on her face.
"Auntie, why do you look so happy? Did you pick up gold?" Ah Yat (Joyce Chen) asks.
"Better! I finally got blessing charms from Choi Ting Ting!" Ying Gei beams.
"That's great, what did you ask for?" Fiona (Sherming Yiu) asks.
"I got a charm for everyone in the family!"
"Ah Gei, you're so kind to our family," Nim Chi (Nancy Sit) praises.
"Let me pass out the charms then. The trick is that you must burn it and drink the ashes in a teacup."
"Disgusting and ridiculous!" Ah Lo (Bondy Chiu) exclaims.
"They've been known to work! There's this old woman who couldn't have kids. After she asked Choi Ting Ting for a charm, ten months later, she had triplets! An old woman, too! Talk about a miracle!" Ying Gei defends herself.
"Auntie, don't tell me you believe that? It's just a trick to deceive people like you! Don't tell me that you're going to depend on some stupid charm to get pregnant!"
Ying Gei pouts, "But it works!"
"You can't depend on fate for children. Just look at Ah Yuet and me!"
"Gam Gam!"
"Ah Lo, she is your auntie, show her some respect" Nim Chi scolds.
Ah Lo laughs, "Just playful kidding! Really though, you guys have been trying for so long, what's wrong? It is because sister OK is too old or is it H5N1's fault?"
"My fault?" Gam laughs, "Take a look at your weak husband first!"
"Weak? We have twins two times in a row!"
"Enough!" Nim Chi shouts. "Ah Gei, continue to pass out those charms."
Ying Gei grins, "Okay! Sister-in-law, this charm will bless you with a second romance."
Nim Chi blushes, "I thought I said I was going to remain a widow!"
Ying Gei whispers, "Your life is still long! Don't let it be lonely. Find a man to share it with!" She winks.
Ah Yat whispers to Ah Hong (Johnny Tang), "Auntie has known Ma Chi for so long and still doesn't know what her wish is!"
"Gam Gam, this is so you'll have the best DNA for our kids."
"Best DNA? Too bad they're all horrible!" Ah Lo laughs.
"Ah Sing, this is so that you'll stop arguing with Michelle. Your arguments at 'Ka Yan' are giving everyone a headache! Make peace."
Ah Sing (Hawick Lau) laughs sheepishly, "Thanks."
"Fiona, may you have a bright future."
"Thanks, auntie!"
"Ah Nin, hopefully your full memories will come back. Rose, may you remain beautiful and happy." She hands them the charms.
"Ah Yuet and Ah Lo, this is so you two will remember to use birth control next time! The house is becoming too crowded!"
"Don't be jealous because we're blessed and gifted!" Ah Lo protests.
"Ah Yat, hope you get a leading role soon."
"Auntie! Did you forget I'm no longer an actress? I'm a director now!"
"Whoops. Sorry. Once the wish has been made, there's no taking it back! Well, to Ah Hong, become manlier! To myself, hope that I'm fertile and have a litter of kids!"
"A litter? Does sister OK think she's an animal?" Ah Lo asks Ah Yuet.
Ah Yuet answers, "Uncle treats her no better than a cattle!"
"I'm going to head over to the Seks' now to hand out the final four charms," Ying Gei announces.
"What are you going to wish for them?" Ah Nin (Frankie Lam) asks.
"For sister Sa, of course to have kids. For 11th brother, to have more roles. Uncle and auntie Chuen to look more pleasing to the eyes." Ying Gei waves and leaves for the Seks' apartment next door.
"Well, let me make some tea so we can burn these charms and have some good luck!" Nim Chi says.
Nim Chi heads into the kitchen to prepare some tea. After the preparation was done, she brings out a tray of teacups. Just after she placed the tray on the coffee table, Ying Gei returns. She seems to be pissed.
"Sister OK, what's wrong?" Ah Lo asks.
"Uncle and auntie Chuen! They yelled at me for nearly ten minutes!"
"So that's what the noise we heard was!" Fiona observes.
"Anyways, the tea is ready! Everyone, burn your charms and drink the tea!"
"Mother-in-law, I really don't want to drink this!" Ah Lo holds the teacup filled with black ashes with contempt and disgust.
"Second daughter-in-law, just pretend it's bitter medicine!"
"What if it harms my babies? I'm pregnant, after all!"
"That's right, then Ah Yuet can drink it for you."
Ah Yuet's eyes bulges, "Two for the price of one?"
Ah Lo says sweetly, "Thanks, honey!"
Gam comments, "Ah Yuet likes to accomplish many things in one attempt and have doubles! Of course he won't mind drinking two cups! Each time Ah Lo is pregnant, it is always two babies! I wouldn't be surprised if Ah Yuet has a second wife in the future! Two is your lucky number, isnt that right?"
Ah Lo perks up and grabs Ah Yuet's ear, "Is that right?"
"Of course not, honey! Uncle is just talking nonsense as usual!" Ah Yuet answers.
"Remember Ah Gei's good intentions; they'll help to sweeten the taste of the tea!" Nim Chi urges.
Everyone grimaces and tries to hold back urges to barf as they drink the tea. Nim Chi bravely finishes her cup first. She forces a smile of victory. After a few seconds, she can't hold it and rushes to the bathroom!
"Your Ma Chi is good at talking, but bad when it comes to action!" Ah Lo says as she hands Ah Yuet the second cup, "Drink up."
Ah Yuet faints.